Lets try this again...

I swear one of my goals in life is to keep a consistent blog but I'm lazy and I let that get in my way.

Anyways, here is a recent pic that was taken of me and my brood on Mothers Day 2012. As you can see my second cub is significantly larger than last shown. She was a glorious handful the past 9 months. She was and remains the classic high needs baby and it has totally changed some of my perspectives and views on parenting. Just when you think you've got it all figured out... you don't!

My first daughter was a completely different child compared to my second.  Independent almost from the womb, she much prefers to do things herself,  which included sleeping and such when she was little.  She wasn't one to be held and coddled about at all.  In fact I used to complain to anyone who would listen about how I wished she was more "cuddly."  I tried and failed to breast feed her and tried and failed with co-sleeping with her. She was (and is) such a light sleeper that no one was getting any sleep in our house while she was co-sleeping with us. Seems like the second we moved her to her own room in her own crib she began sleeping through the night. 

Now my youngest was the complete opposite. She was placed on my breast shortly after birth and hasn't left it since it seems like.  For the first 3 months of her life, if she wasn't on my breast eating or on my chest sleeping, she was screaming. My husband and I actually asked ourselves "What exactly did we do?" It honestly felt like she upset the balance of our home for those first 90 days.  But for 90 days, I gritted my teeth and tried to enjoy every moment. I soon grew accustomed to her rhythm and we survived. Soon things began to get better. Sure she still hated the carseat and still doesn't like it, but she started to smile and laugh and is currently growing into a little trouble maker just like her big sister. (Just never ever remind my husband of our 2 day epic drive to New Jersey. Never...)

Breastfeeding was a bit rocky at first but I was so determined this time to follow through.  I breastfed this girl like there was no tomorrow and in fact I still do! She eats like a champ and my supply is perfect.  I never could however pump more than 2 drops. So if you're like me and one of those moms discouraged by the amount you get from a pump, don't be. Your little one is getting the proper amount that they need. Nature knows that a baby is the real thing and that plastic flange is not. 

At 12 days old she became very ill and I have to admit that, that time was the most scary time I've ever had in my entire life. For 3 days I laid with her in the hospital.  I don't think she left my chest the entire time for except maybe 10 mins here and there where I got up to use the rest room. It was terrifying but she pulled through, Thank God. 

Another thing that broke my heart during this time period was that I couldn't be at home with my oldest. It impacted her even though she wasn't quite 2 at the time. The above photo was of her waiting for me to come home. She fell asleep in her grandma's arms. 

Seems like these crazy events happened just yesterday but we are almost at the one year mark.

I couldn't be happier!

SMACK!

Sometimes life just smacks you in the face.  After years of adjusting to the fact that I may not even be able to have one child, I am now suddenly proud mother to two. Two daughters in fact. Precious, perfect, precocious, pink ribbon wearing girls. Each conceived a little differently, each birthed a little differently and each having their own little different personalities.

With my first daughter, "Cub One," she was a surprise pregnancy. I was in the midst of a 2 year Crohns flare when she suddenly arrived in the pictures. With my second one, "Cub Two," she was planned and although we expected it to take a few months to conceive, Cub Two was a "one monther" and WHAM! SMACK! We were expecting again! 

Flash forward nearly 10 months later and here I sit now making this post.  I used to write avidly in my youth but life and circumstance drew me away from writing. What better opportunity than now to begin anew and attempt to document our lives as we grow as a new family of four. 

So I'll just jump to it...hang on! 

Breastfeeding or as we like to call it in our household; breasting. 

With Cub One it was an utter failure. I had an emergency c-section after 26 hours of hard labor and the nurses suggested that it would be easier to give her some formula that first night. What a mistake! That pretty much put the first nail in that coffin. I struggled for the next 4 months to breastfeed her but between supplementing that never stopped and the fact that I never really got a supply no matter how much Feneugreek I consumed (I smelled like a maple tree!) things never worked out for me.  

Now with Cub Two things are so much more different. I did end up having another "emergency" c-section when it was discovered she was boarder line IUGR but being that this c-section was scheduled, the entire experience was better planned and prepared. This time I wasn't "tricked" into supplementing with formula, she was given to me moments after the surgery and I was able to pop her right onto the breast.  She was a champion nurser from the get go, unlike her sister who never really mastered a good latch or wanted to, Cub Two was a pro!  This made a tremendous surge of good feelings flow through my body! I felt super human! 

Today is day 22 of breasting my new little squish cub and things are still going great. We are however battling with her weight gain as it does seem to be a tad bit on the slower side but from what I've learned, that is not too uncommon with IUGR babies.

We have our moments but it looks like this time breastfeeding is going to be a success!

Speaking of, I have to go nurse her now so I have to cut this short but tomorrow I will be back and talk more about IUGR, Baby Blues and adjusting life to a new baby in the house.